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Have dating apps change the way we approach DATING?

Kingson Chingakham

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A decade ago,dating apps hardly existed.Everyone entered in a relationship organically.That was not the age when you were dating with someone,but still swiped to check out more options.That was the time when technology did not reach the private space.

With the availability of dating apps,it has developed a perception that ‘apps have simplified the nature of dating’.In reality, it has become more difficult.Now,people do not meet in person to see whether they want to go out on a date or not.They now choose from the plenty of options available on the dating apps and show up on the dating day.As a consequence,a lot of people suffer from the paradox of choice- too many choices, too many decisions, too little time to do what is really important.

Competition of Numbers

It has become a trend to go on multiple dates taking all the available options.This might be exciting at the outset, but the sad truth is that the addiction of the apps have resulted to the inability to give 100 per cent attention to a single person.This is worrisome because,you can not know one person properly when you are dating with multiple others.

Alicia,a British working in Delhi shared her experience,“These apps have made dating time consuming and exhausting.Still I open the apps to swipe left and right.I have gone on four dates in one week just to find the ‘Prince Charming’.But I just wasted my time and money by over consuming alcohol in all those four dates.I pledged to be pickier but it is getting harder.”

The Future of Dating

Nowadays,if you put your best on paper(resume), you get the best jobs.Likewise,people are looking to date those with the hottest photos.Irrespective of sexes,all spend enough time not to remain fit and healthy but to build a sexually appealing bodies.The same people spend most of their times grooming themselves in the salon to look the best in the pictures.

So will we be able to go back to the old fashion of dating? Yes,if we do not get addicted to the apps.It is good that you get to meet new people in your lives.But it is difficult to get the one you are looking for until unless you give sufficient time to know a person.Nowadays,we get bored of someone easily,presuming that there can be a better person to date.The options are plenty but is it really worth exhausting your time and money to explore all the options? It has become really difficult to focus on just one person at a time.But that’s the value that all must embrace.

When these apps/sites did not exist,it did not bother you whether you had to travel for miles for dates.At present,distance matters.Most of the apps shows people who are nearby.People have refused to go on dates because of long distance.Have we become lazy? No. Now, most of us have understood that there are options.But nobody cares to think what the person who stays far might turn better than the one nearby?

A lot of apps/sites have certain commitment which caters to the consumers-a casual hook-up,an actual relationship,marriage,extra-marital affairs etc. Teddy Truchot, Co-founder of Gleeden, an extra-marital app, said,”With the increasing adoption of modernized culture and ethics, the unique concept of extramarital dating is also making its place in the world of dating. The upcoming dating websites are majorly for single people. It was pretty difficult or nearly impossible for married people to meet new people as they had to find partners on some dark roads.We aim to forge a space for extramarital encounters which could be made in discreet space”.

He further said, “Gleeden is one of its kind website, solely run by women, offering space to people seeking new partners. We provide a safe platform to anyone looking for experiences outside their relationship. We hope to give our users a confidential and secure environment where they can explore people and have great experiences in an anonymous backdrop. Our prime focus is women who are either facing a broken marital relationship or are looking out to spice up their life. Indian market is majorly being dominated by websites and applications specifically and solely dedicated to single people. With our arrival in the Indian market, we hope to help women and provide them a convenient virtual space for new encounters. We are making roads in the Indian society for those seeking infidelity as it is now becoming a natural and common process. With the increasing Indian subscribers, we hope to make the despondent group of people happy and contended”.

The apps/sites have also been misused several times.There are many people who ask for cash or kind in return of sexual pleasure.The amount of fake profiles that exist portraying fake pictures and other details have violated privacy of many people.A woman in her 30s recalls one of the horrors, “I used to chat with a guy almost one and half year.He had uploaded good pictures and other details on profile.I was innocent that time and did not realize that it might be fake.When we decided to meet,it turned out to be a complete different person.It did shock me but also broke my heart”.


We’re getting good at getting dumped

These apps have given some therapy.People are so used to getting dumped that breakups and blow-offs go more easily.You can have a perfect date.But the person disappears after the first date.First experience might be uneasy.But it gets used to and stronger and prepares us for such events in future.

Hardly people read the profile.Good pictures will lead to swipe right and bad pictures swipe left.Just because the pictures are not up to the mark,you might lend up swiping left but you rejected a potentially good person and a potentially amazing relationship because of bad pictures.Those who have failed to get matches have showed lack of self-confidence and self-esteem and are worried about their physical appearance.

It is an addiction.What happens when you get a match? It gives you a boost of dopamine which will help you in thinking-what’s the harm in playing more? The app makers have realized this addiction and exploit all of us.One excited lad from Delhi said, “It’s fun to play the game of swipe left and right at the middle of night.When I get a match,I continue swiping till the sunrise(laughs)”.

Personal Blog. For details please mail me at observersindia@gmail.com

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